Go Out And Play

My mom with me in her arms, 1950

My mom passed away this morning. Her death was a relief. She suffered from dementia the last few years and she wanted no part of it. For most of her life she expressed herself very clearly and you always knew where she stood on an issue. I was very proud of her.

I just cruised through a folder of old photos of her. I went through them a few times. She was so pretty and by all rights I should have a photo of her alone up here. But today, especially, I was struck by how the ones of the two of us affected me. The connection you feel to your mom, in ideal circumstances, and I feel like my childhood was close to idyllic, is something words can not describe. I felt this long before I could speak and I still feel it. That’s why they call it a feeling. It is deep and that’s what I wanted to write about.

I was the first of seven so she was my role model. I felt on top of the world in her arms and completely independent when she put me down. She loved kids but was never overbearing. As I grew older she’d say, “Go out and play.” The best advice I was ever given.

On Friday, as we sat with her in the main room at the Friendly Home my mom spotted a baby doll across the room and muttered something about it. I brought it over to her and put it on her lap. She picked the doll up and kissed it. It was so sweet. She was so sweet.

6 Responses to “Go Out And Play”

  1. Lisa Bayer Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a lovely tribute.

  2. Tom Burke Says:

    Hey Paul, thank you for sharing a bit of your mom’s life with me through your stories. I appreciate that you took me along on this part of her life journey.

  3. Martin Edic Says:

    I think we were both fortunate in our parents and our childhoods. They’re interlinked. I’m sorry for your loss but see it as her liberation.

  4. Louise Says:

    Paul — Yes, thank you so much for sharing your stories with us. They have been very beautiful and it does not surprise me to read that your mother has been so gentle and strong — as are you.

  5. Matthew Leonard Says:

    I am very relieved that her suffering is over, but this is still a sad time. Just hearing what you guys (and her) have been going through in the last few years has been rough…lots of love and best wishes. See you soon.

  6. paolo. Says:

    A beautiful tribute, Paul.

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