Sleeper

Box of teeth from Leo's house
Box of teeth from Leo’s house

The most efficient way to to store stuff is digitally. After that there is flat filing cabinets. I put my father’s old cabinet in my studio and that set off a chain reaction of purging to make space for the new. Out with a pile of paintings and older work, sifting through piles of junk and then into the closets where we found boxes of 4D Advertising samples. All to the trash. Now, what about this box of teeth molds that our former neighbor, Leo, an orthodontist who often worked out of his house, left in his basement when he passed? I took a photo and thought about Leo.

Phil Marshall has a rubber soul. We are friends and have played together but I was not aware of his Beatle affinity. We recently donated to his Indiegogo CD project. Our level entitles us to have Phil as a guest on a podcast. Our promo copy of the cd arrived in two versions, “Scatterbed,” fleshed out tracks with guest musicians, and “Scatterbed Sleeper,” basic tracks of guitar and voice performed simultaneously, described as “the album in its rawest and most immediate form.” Both are produced by Chris Zajkowski and they sound fantastic.

While in hospice my dad occupied a scatterbed at St. John’s. He filled an open bed on the fifth floor next door to long-time nursing home residents, wanderers and people who talk non-stop in non-sequiturs. This is David Greenberger Duplex Planet territory. We intended to engage Phil to play music for my father while he was there, a few Johnny Mercer songs between the madness, but it never happened. Phil is a professional music therapist, what must be a heroic profession. “Scatterbed” arrived two weeks after my dad’s passing and Phil’s self described “reflection on loss, grief, faith and the lack thereof” resonated big time.

Our listening session began with “Sleeper,” the basic tracks. The first song, “Heaven is Waiting,” made me cry. As rich as Gershwin or Nilsson. The rhythm guitar in the next song, “Black Ice,” immediately called to mind Beefheart’s, “Harry Irene.” “In the final instant, Beyond all love and fear, Is there a perfect moment, When everything is clear?” “Faith,” which is inevitably called into play in the final hours meets a worthy opponent. “Faith, I doubt, is true, Faith, in love I do believe.” “Ebb And Flow’s” innocence echoes the Velvet Underground’s “After Hours” as it looks death in the eye. “Surrender it all to ebb and flow.” I’m quoting the lyrics here but, more importantly, Phil’s gorgeous melodies get under your skin and stay there.

Our session was interrupted so we started over the next day. “Sleeper” to “Scatterbed” full blown. I found myself thinking not only of my father but our departed painting teacher who also left a huge hole a few months back. We let a week go by and played the two in reverse order. “Sleeper” speaks more clearly, more directly and I am thankful to have a copy. For me the ideal transition from “Sleeper” to “Scatterbed” would have gone more raw, more fragile and more vulnerable. But then, Stella, our eighteen year old cat is in hospice as I write this.

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N Ice

Snow covered path around Eastman Lake in Rochester, New York

OK, so this will be an abbreviated winter. In short spurts it feels like any other winter. The cross country ski conditions the last three days have been near perfect. We skied from our front door to the lake and came back along the western shore of Eastman Lake. That path, a favorite with birders, is so close to the water, parts of it are often under water, especially when the beavers have been active. And it gets so much sun the snow melts quickly. The day after a fresh snow though is always nice and today was especially nice.

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Three Dee

Peggi with skis up near Lake Ontario
Peggi with skis up near Lake Ontario

Gary Pudup, a former sheriff and head of the local ACLU chapter, is very active in New Yorkers Against Gun Violence. When he ran for office we tried to support him by posting a NYAGV sign on the road behind our house. Someone stole it in the first week. Gary lost his race but we are still friends. He and his wife come to every Margaret Explosion performance.

Last night the Little Theater screened “No Control,” a documentary about gun violence, and Gary brought in the head of the statewide group and a photo journalist for a discussion. Joe Quint’s photos were really powerful. “No Control,” the movie, was a little messy. They contrasted an anti-gun artist with a pro-gun, freedom loving, Cody Wilson, who was busted for making the downloadable plans for a 3D printer gun, “The Liberator.” I didn’t care for the artwork and was kind of drawn into Cody’s open source argument.

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Scratch And Sniff

Durand Eastman Witchhazel blossoming in JanuaryBlossom
Durand Eastman Witchhazel blossoming in January

This year everything is different. We waited until January 18th for the first significant snowfall. Significant as in enough to cross country ski on. And we had to wait until the end of the day for sufficient accumulation. The moon was visible, the conditions were perfect and Durand’s most fragrant witch hazel, the one that normally blossoms at the end of February, was in full bloom.

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Sunday Drivers

David Bowie poster on East Avenue in Rochester, New York
David Bowie poster on East Avenue in Rochester, New York

A photo in this morning’s paper of a spunky Irene Gossin speaking in 1970 about environmental issues in front of a map of Irondequoit Bay caught my eye. She is in her nineties and went on to become Penfield Town Supervisor. The article rattled off all the issues she fought against over the years, some of them the same issues my father battled.

They described the home she and her husband built – three acres of land at the edge of a high bluff with a sweeping view of Irondequoit Creek and the wetlands that surround it. The article described the “home’s clean lines, open plan and careful situation in a copse of trees atop the bluff, concepts that Gossin said were meant to echo Frank Lloyd Wright, embraced the home’s location and, perhaps, helped inspire Gossin’s ardent defense of the wetlands so close at hand.”

I stopped right there. This must be a Don Hershey house. Sure enough Peggi found it in her database but we had no address. We have no pictures on the site and of course she is an original owner so there are no real estate photos online. We headed out to track down the house and spent the better part of the afternoon driving around. It took us to a neighborhood we had never really explored with dramatic views of Irondequoit Bay. We were essentially east of Tryon Park, south of the bay, west of Creek Street and north of the old Browncroft Boulevard.

I like to think Don Hershey’s design of the house fit Irene like a glove and she in turn was inspired to defend the beauty that surrounded her whole life.

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Building Awareness

Audio-Visual performance at Axom Gallery in Rochester, New York
Audio-Visual performance at Axom Gallery in Rochester, New York

Remember AV Club? Probably not. Nerdy high school kids messing with video so the picture flickered or maybe even manipulating the picture with the audio signal. No idea how you do that but they figured it out. These same kids had a completely different notion of music too. Not so much melody, harmony and rhythm but more blips and sampled noise with feedback. The kind of stuff you’d watch and listen to late at night with some incense burning and recreational drugs.

Axom Gallery last night featured visual art by John Lake, tiled black and white print-outs of a young man in the water, along with experimental music performances by City Harvest Black, Licker, Mike Shiflet and Joe + N. Not sure who we caught but it was completely engaging. There are more of these types than you would imagine. It was one of the biggest crowds I’ve seen at the gallery.

There was beer there too but I was too full to have one. We had eaten dinner at Atlas Eats where they were doing something they called “American Melting Pot. “Cured Salmon Pastrami Style with Creamer potatoes, Homemade 1,000 Island dressing and Rye Caraway Crumbs, Winter Vegetable Puree with Roasted Beets, Quark and Pommes Allumettes and Seared Scallops in Kimchee Butter with Braised Escarole and Cracklings. They could have stopped right there but there two more courses. One included a delicious, over-easy quail egg and that was nice. I can’t eat that much but I did. And it’s not so much the bloated feeling that bums me out it’s more the dread I feel with the excess of it all. And dessert just has a way of spoiling a perfectly good meal.

Yoga class was back after a holiday recess. We worked the lower back today, mostly trying to undue damage we do just walking around in a gravity bound atmosphere. At the end of class Jeffery reminded us we are building awareness with our practice. I like that.

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Pick Of The Litter

Stella on the scale at the vets
Stella on the scale at the vets

It is always an adventure going to the vet with Stella. For starters, she usually pees on me as I carry her toward the car. She is especially sensitive. She only comes out of the bedroom for a carefully selected group of people. A few neighbors, a few friends, a few family members. Everybody else spooks her. And it has nothing to do with being loud or quiet. She has her own criteria and I would say she has good taste.

We have had a lot of cats. Tori and Sadie and Gato came from Bloomington. Nellie, Nino, Fay and Ornette all came from Lollipop Farm. Stella came from under the porch of Rick Howk’s house in the city. Her mom was all white but mangy. Stella was the pick of the litter.

She is the first cat that we have ever had that didn’t spend most of its time outdoors. She is just too delicate. We could tell that right away so we kept her in. Curiously, she meows at the door when I wake up and goes out for just a minute while I get the paper. She nibbles on the grass near the door and she sometimes throws it up once she is back inside. We have mice in our house but she has never been interested. She is terrified of the vacuum cleaner.

She is the sweetest cat we have ever had but she is almost eighteen years old and it may be time to go. We don’t plan to do anything heroic, we just want to keep her comfortable while we can.

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Logic Is Dull

Dodds and friends on Hawley Drive in 1969

My father gave me a Kodak Instamatic in 1969. It was my first camera. Left to right, top to bottom, my mother, my brothers John and Fran, my friend Brad Fox, Joey Occhipinti with the soccer ball, another Occhipinti with the basketball, my friend Dave Mahoney, and three neighborhood kids with toy guns. Tim Meisenzahl, at the bottom right, was dad’s financial advisor. I think my dad actually started with Tim’s dad. They lived across the street from us when I took this photo. I have to bring my dad’s death certificate out to Tim tomorrow and settle an account he had with Wells Fargo.

“Hitchcock/Truffaut” played to a packed House at the Dryden Theater last weekend. The 2015 movie based on the the 1962 week-long interview François Truffaut conducted with Hitchcock. That interview, the greatest cinema lesson of all time, became a book, a “bible” to filmmakers. The movie is footage from the interview. footage from Hitchcock movies along with commentary from Martin Scorsese, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, Wes Anderson, Richard Linklater, Paul Schrader and, of course, Peter Bogdanovich. The Hitchcock quotes are mint. “Logic is dull.”

Time to march through the Hitchcock oeuvre again.

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Winter Wonder

Tree at the end of Hoffman Road in Rochester, New York
Tree at the end of Hoffman Road in Rochester, New York

Yes, I like putting something that looks like the subject in the middle of the frame when I take a photo. Not off to one side, right in the clumsy middle. I like emphasizing the space the so called subject occupies. I’m not so interested in drawing you in any further but it is nice when you have that option. A photo of this spot would be ordinary in the Spring or Summer. The Winter palette makes this a wonder.

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What The Doctor Ordered

Saturday evening mass on tv from St Ann's Chapel, Rochester, NY
Saturday evening mass on tv from St Ann’s Chapel, Rochester, NY

Things are definitely not the same at my mom’s. My father’s absence permeates every corner of her place. We picked up her mail on the way in, a stack of sympathy cards, and my mom read them all a few times. In her cousin, Suzanne’s, card was another card announcing that a mass would be be said in my father’s name on February 26th at Saint Louis Church.

My mom flicks between American Movie Classics, Turner Classic Movies and the Hallmark station but none of them was doing it for her so we watched the Saturday evening mass that was being broadcast from the chapel in the high rise next door. I guess the broadcast counts as a mass of obligation these days. The pews were filled but only a janitor remained, picking up the flower petals, when I took this shot.

The aide ordered salmon for my mom and when it was delivered we left to have dinner with our friends, Jeff and Mary Kaye. Jeff grilled tuna they bought from a fish buying club in a wasabi sauce. It’s the middle of January and we had fresh kale and brussels sprouts from their garden! Jeff drizzled that with with some fresh squeezed lemon juice. The third-rate of a perfect triangle was the potato kugel he made with last week’s NYT recipe. Mary Kaye trumped Jeff’s efforts with a homemade orange sorbet.

Of course the conversation is the best part of any meal. I’m still digesting it long after the food has passed. I made a crack about someone seeing a shrink and Jeff said the word should be “expander.” And only then did I realize my friend, the therapist, was practicing his craft, something he has perfected, as a non-billable gift to us.

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Listen While You Rip

Golf course green covered in snow
Golf course green covered in snow

I brought a short stack of my father’s cds home last night, ripped them and brought them back today. We listened while we ripped. “The Lyrical Stan Getz,” “Art Blakey’s Jazz Messengers with Thelonious Monk,” Joe Williams “Having The Blues Under A European Sky,” a live Oscar Peterson Trio cd and another collection, two Duke Ellingtion compilations and three Bill Evans cds, one live, a collection and one with Stan Getz. I know I told my dad that Scott LaFaro used to play with Bill Evans. There was a poster of Scott right near the regular table that my dad’s Kodak buddies sat at for twenty four years. Scott LaFaro was in the owner, Nick Massa’s, high school class. These recordings made for an enjoyable evening.

In our local paper the other day one of the questions to the computer guy was from someone who took advantage of the free three months of Apple streaming and then forgot to cancel so they were being billed ten bucks a month by Apple. They wanted to know how to go about canceling. You wouldn’t think you had to be a computer expert to figure that out but Nick Francesco addressed it. The reason it caught my eye is that I, too, never canceled. I haven’t had time to stream but I do plan to check it out before canceling.

We stopped by Martin’s place on New Year’s Eve and he was streaming some JB for his lady friends. He had the place hopping but he told me it was hard to create a Apple streaming dance playlist without having the albums to look at while you’re choosing.

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Young Men’s Club

Four bucks in woods near Durand Eastman Park in Rochester, New York
Four bucks in woods near Durand Eastman Park in Rochester, New York

We startled this group of bucks. There were five of them sleeping in a cluster and one ran out of my picture frame. It is, of course, rutting season but these racks are all fairly small. Young bucks do not normally challenge mature large ones. They fear the more mature bucks and avoid the dominant deer’s territory. We’ve seen some epic, knock down, cinematic fights between two mature males. They’re every bit as dramatic as a Quentin Tarantino movie.

My life has felt like a movie in the last few months. Neither all good or bad but as dramatic as one of those buck battles in the woods. We saw “Carol” last night, a slow burn of a love affair but not much of a movie, at least compared to other Patricia Highsmith penned marvels like “Strangers On A Train” and “The Talented Mr. Ripley. We plan to tackle “The Hateful Eight” next.

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Possibilities

Tree with an opening in its base
Tree with an opening in its base

It sometimes takes a giant interruption to crystallize your thinking. Prolonged concentration is hardly ever productive. Margaret Explosion often has its best nights when we are either exhausted or completely overwhelmed with life’s complications. You can’t force possibilities. You can only open yourself up to them.

So here I am in my studio for the first time in months. The mattress my brother slept on when he was in town is still sprawled out on the floor. A series of paintings, half of them unfinished, line the walls. A short stack of them sits on the floor. The still life of old bottles that I shot to show my father is still staged theatricly on a piece of white panel board. I could paint them for the rest of my life the way Georgio Morandi did. On my work table I have about twenty sheets of purple, hand-made paper that Roy Sowers gave me. I forget what I was going do with them.

There’s a newspaper clipping of Vladimir Putan shaking Bashar al Assad’s hand, two distinctly different body types and postures in an animated pose. There’s a small notebook with scattered thoughts, overheard snippets of conversion and abstract sketches. A good starting point for something. And of course the most recent Crimestoppers page is waiting for me. A package of black construction paper sits next to a bowl of pink ribbons that we found on trees in the woods. It occurs to me that those two things could work together. There’s the big charcoal drawing on my easel. Can I pick up where I left off? And then I’m looking at this weathered wooden end to an old lobster trap that I found along the coast in Maine. The nail holes in the barn shaped board are surrounded by rust. It’s beautiful just the way it is.

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Stop Praying. Do Something.

Ben Mac An Tuile singing Danny Boy at the close of Leo Dodd's memorial service/celebration. Photo by Bob Mahoney
Ben Mac An Tuile singing Danny Boy at the close of Leo Dodd’s memorial service/celebration. Photo by Bob Mahoney

My cousin, a nun, drove in from Erie for my dad’s service. She was one of the first guests and she came right up to me, took both my hands, and said “Just want to let you know I’m praying for your dad.” I looked at her blankly. My mom’s words from years ago, when people were praying for peace, came back loud and clear. “I wish they would stop praying and just do something.” I love my cousin and know she meant well.

We were picking songs for the celebration and my sister, Amy, suggested we include Mel Torme’s “Brooklyn Bridge.” My father loved the song and had a lifelong fascination with the bridge. We started the service with it. Qued it up just before the final guests were seated and only then did it strike me as the perfect allegory for passage.

My uncle was next with a poignant Thomas Merton quote. I had scoured my dad’s computer for quotes that he liked or ones he had used in past Christmas cards. We included a couple of G.K. Chesterton beautys in the program and arranged for others to be read aloud.

My father left the church back in the sixties and by chance a priest, who had a reputaion for pushing the church to the left in that same period, lives in the same apartment building as my mom and dad. His Christmas tree caught on fire last year and he almost burnt the place down. My parents never met him but my dad was aware of his reputation. I asked my dad at the end of his life if he was interested in seeing Father Donnelly and he said he was so I gave him a call. I tried to get him up to speed on my dad’s small “c” Catholic thing and I think their Hospice visit went well.

When my dad passed I asked Father Donnelly if he would do the homily at the service and of course he agreed. I told my sister Amy I was uncertain as to where he would go with the thing and she suggested I tell him that nature was my father’s religion, and her’s too for that matter. I called and tried to describe what it was like to to walk in the woods with my father. His sense of wonder. And I sort of broke down trying to relay it.

Father Donnelly found a perfect theme. Being observant and fully present and being creative, especially, is enough. The subtext being you don’t have to spout scripture or swallow dogma. Living a meaningful life is enough for god.

People shared thoughts and stories about Leo. I was so proud of my six siblings. Each one spoke eloquently, a fitting tribute from their own experience and from the heart. I did have a favorite summation though and that was Peggi’s.

About six months ago my father heard someone sing Danny Boy at one of his Kodak luncheons. He loved it and said the guy who sang it told him he knew Peggi and me. I figured it was Ben and asked my father if he would like me to ask him to sing that song at his funeral. My father said, “That would be nice.” Bob Mahoney took this picture of Ben Mac An Tuile singing Danny Boy” at the close of the ceremony. Peggi and I are sitting on the altar to the left of the lectern. It was a perfect send off.

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Long Live Leo

Leo Dodd at about twenty years of age
Leo Dodd at about twenty years of age

My dad used to read bedtime stories to us and at some point I noticed he didn’t have a book in front of him. He was making the stories up. And they were better than the ones in the books. As kids we watched in awe as he painted Disney characters on the heat ducts in our basement. Weekend outings were walks down Atlantic Avenue to look at the trains, real adventures.

He saved some money on our new house in Webster by paneling the family room and the bedroom above it himself. He involved us in the whole process, by betting candy bars on whether the pieces would fit. He dragged a dead tree home and planted it in our backyard. It was beautiful but he took some heat from the neighbors. He hand-dug a built-in swimming pool in our backyard. I don’t remember being much help. He hung four Rouault prints in our living room, a vivid early art influence for me.

My dad embraced technology and was an early adapter. He let me borrow a half megapixel, digital camera, one that Kodak was developing. It was the size of a lunch bucket. He had a Mac II before we did.

We never knew what my dad did for a living because most of his work at Kodak was classified. He did some freelance work at night and I had the opportunity to work with him on slideshows for a computer chip maker. This high-tech company would bring their top scientists into the conference room and they’d describe the advantages of their newest technology while my dad sketched. He had an amazing ability to visually simplify complicated processes. I could sense the respect others had for him. These were high pressure jobs with insane deadlines and Leo was having fun!

His favorite saying was, “I can’t talk without a pencil” Flow charts were his way of organizing the world. He made one on his iPad a couple of weeks ago in Highland Hospital where he laid out the chain of command for the doctors in charge of his care.

Leo was incredibly active in retirement. He was always doing a research project, presentations or websites. I was his tech support and I got drawn into his many projects. We took a painting class together for twenty years. He called it “therapy.” Getting to know Leo in all these situations, not just as my dad but as an interesting and unique human being, was a real treat. It was a privilege to be able to help him near the end of his life.

Leo’s computer is at our place now because he asked us to finish a few projects. He is still getting email. LeoDodd.com is still online and there are plenty of new paintings to post. The wildflowers in Edmunds Woods will still come up again this year. But as Leo would say, you’ll have to get there early in the Spring, well before the leaves fill in.

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Dad Disappeared

Leo Dodd 2015 watercolor of downtown Rochester, NY
Leo Dodd 2015 watercolor of downtown Rochester, NY

My father disappeared from this earth this morning. I took a painting class with him for twenty years or so and this old time view of downtown Rochester was one of his last paintings. He was an inspiration to me. I’m dedicating the song below to him.

Margaret Explosion plays our last show of 2015 tonight. The band returns to the Little Theater Café in March of 2016. Curiously, “Disappear,” the title song of Margaret Explosion’s “Disappear” cd, is not on the cd. It was recorded after the cd was released.

"Disappear" by Margaret Explosion. Recorded live at the Little Theatre on 10.22.14. Peggi Fournier - sax, Ken Frank - bass, Bob Martin - guitar, Jack Schaefer - bass clarinet. Paul Dodd - drums.
“Disappear” by Margaret Explosion. Recorded live at the Little Theatre on 10.22.14. Peggi Fournier – sax, Ken Frank – bass, Bob Martin – guitar, Jack Schaefer – bass clarinet. Paul Dodd – drums.
Listen to Margaret Explosion – Disappear
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Peas & Pimentos

Fallen white birch on ridge in Durand Eastman Park in Rochester, New York
Fallen white birch on ridge in Durand Eastman Park in Rochester, New York

Hadn’t had a chance to walk in a few days so yesterday’s jaunt through the woods felt like recess back in Holy Trinity. Our most travelled route even felt brand new, especially so when we discovered Peggi’s favorite white birch had fallen.

Peggi did a few paintings of the eye-like knots in the bark and we’d marvel at the tree, the biggest in this birch stand on top of a ridge, each time we passed. They are funny trees. The bark is impervious to rot, perfect for lining Native American canoes. Thet look fine one day and then fall over the next.

My siblings, Peggi and I found a new home for my mom today. Peggi and I plan to drop off the application, the PRI and POA forms in the morning. The admissions assistant, who gave us a tour this afternoon, was perfectly professional until she went off the rails in answer to a question about the food. Something about the chef serving peas and pimentos that she found very odd.

Meanwhile my dad is spending his last days in a different nursing home, one that doesn’t separate their hospice and dementia clients. There’s a woman in a wheelchair who does laps of the hallways while talking a blue streak. She is absolutely delightful, David Greenberger material, but she tried opening the door to the stairs last night and set off a painfully loud alarm that no one seemed to know how to turn off. She told us she “was the only man in her family.” And there’s a man who wanders the halls while pulling his shirt up over his head. He went down the elevator with some visitors the other night and wound up in the basement. He was perfectly happy but the staff freaked out.

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Be Right Back

Note that my father left for my mother as we left for his last doctor's appointment
Note my father left on my mother’s chair as we left for his last doctor’s appointment

We were cc’d in on an email from the people at the end of the street. Their dog had been missing since yesterday and they were asking the neighbors to keep an eye out for it. Earlier we had noticed a dog’s bark that sounded like it was coming from the woods behind Rick and Monica’s house. It wasn’t Rick and Monica’s dog because they are out of town. And it wasn’t the sharp, shrill, shriek of the next door neighbor’s dog. It must have been the missing German Shepherd.

We called the owners and told them their dog might be down in the woods. We were heading out for a walk anyway so we met the neighbors out front before we headed down the path into the woods. A dog was barking. Sounds bounce around down there and it is often hard to tell where they are coming from. The neighbors found their dog inside the dog pen behind Rick and Monica’s house. The dog had somehow gone through the gate and then managed to close it behind him. He spent the night in the pen.

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Take A Ride

Jeanne Perri and her father working in the Ice Cream Shop at St. John's Home in Rochester, New York
Jeanne Perri and her father working in the Ice Cream Shop at St. John’s Home in Rochester, New York

Our friend, Jeanne Perri, moved to Nashville years ago but she still comes up over the holidays to visit her dad. He volunteers at St, Johns where his wife once spent some time. Sometimes he works in the gift shop but most of the time he works behind the counter in the ice cream shop. We found Jean assisting her dad as we walked by.

My dad was upstairs, flat on his back. He had just asked if we could take a ride and I suggested he close his eyes and take a ride.

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Poet’s Garden

McCanns Local Meats in Rochester, New York
McCanns Local Meats in Rochester, New York

We stopped in Rubino’s this afternoon looking for something special for Christmas Eve dinner. We usually have a group over, my brother and his family up from New Jersey and our friend, Duane, from Brooklyn and whatever family members we can round up. Rubino’s was mobbed so we just took in the scene and left, but not before pausing before a “Pray for Me. My Wife is Italian” t-shirt.

For the last few days we had lunch at McCann’s Local Meats on South Clinton. It is close to Saint John’s. They have a lot more than meat but meat certainly takes center stage. It could be the best deli in town. We were there in the off hours and the owner was sitting at the counter, a big guy in a blood splattered apron. I told him my grandfather was a butcher and owned a store further down the street, where the Indian grocery store is today. I said I couldn’t get over how much the the tools of the trade have stayed exactly the same, the conical roll of string, the big roll of paper to wrap the meat cuts in, the hooks for the sides of beef, the band saw, the hanging sausages, the white enamel display case that my grandfather stood behind when he handed me a thick slice of liverwurst.

A hospice aide came up to sit with my father for an hour so we took a walk in Highland Park. As beautiful as the clear blue high sixty degree day was I worry about all the flowering fruit trees. Will they blossom again when Spring really comes? We walked through the Poet’s Garden and found a bench from 1916 with “To live in the hearts that know love is not to die.” It’s from the Scottish poet, Thomas Campbell, and it really hit the sweet spot.

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